Sunday, June 27, 2010

This summer:6: Brainwriting Week 2

So, at the end of each week of camp, we have each of the campers draw a picture representing what the week has meant to them, what they have learned, what they have liked about it....
I thought I would do the same. I lost my picture from the first week, but here is mine from this week.
I definitely feel like I am on the opposite side of the world as everyone I know. For a while I was feeling pretty lonely and couldn't shake it. It is really hard living on the road and only knowing one person (and not very well, at that.) Charles and I can get along alright and run a good camp, but it is kind of like an arranged marriage. You spend most of your time with this one person, but you don't have much say in the matter. Charles and I are having fun, but we both definitely need time apart after working together all day. It's funny... we find ways everyday that we are similar and ways that we are completely different. It is a very good learning experience, and I am looking forward to the rest of the summer, no doubt.
Anyway, I had an epiphany in the shower the other day (the best place to think.) I realized how much I rely on the friendships and relationships that I have. Many of my spiritual conversations are with friends and family, much of my fellowship is at church, my exercise is usually with friends, my confessions are to friends, my adventuring is with friends, my movie watching, my studying, my eating, my dancing... everything other than sleeping and time alone with God is usually done with people whom I love and love me.
On one side, it is somewhat stunting that once on my own, I feel lost, but on the other side, it is helping me really, really appreciate the relationships I do have in my life. And, now that I realize the reason for my lull this summer, I can work on strengthening my solitary relationship with God and become a more well-rounded person--building up a more complete set of armor and avoiding hazardous handicaps.
That is why I drew myself saying the verse I quote daily. I also know that even though my friends and family feel like they are on the other side of the world (and soon will be), I know that they are still in full support of me and praying for me.
That is an awesome realization.
Almost enough to make a girl feel on top of the world.

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