Hope, Desire, Longing

"Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.

"We do not want to merely "see" beauty--though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words--to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.

"At present we are on the outside... the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the pleasures we see. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so. Someday, God willing, we shall get "in"... We will put on glory... that greater glory of which Nature is only the first sketch.

"The Christian says, 'Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists.' A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

"If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only... to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, echo, or mirage.

"I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to the other country and to help others do the same."

-Some words from Clive


This is awesome to think about because no one can deny that they have thought about there being something bigger and more glorious than themselves. This world cannot be as good as it's gonna get, and I want nothing more than for that to be true. It is not made true merely because that is what I think though; that is ridiculous. How could I create something so great as my God? I can't even begin to comprehend eternity or what kind of power God has. Even in my mind, which is capable of so many things that the world cannot offer, I am baffled by God and his grace--probably even more so in my mind than elsewhere because there I am given the perspective to experience God's power personally. Whomever was able to create such glorious things as mountains and laughter and wonder is the only one that can create such a thing as eternity and give me the perspective to recognize and desire such great things. A life with God offers so much more than anything I can dream of; it gives grace, redemption and life.

-Some words from me

Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

-Some words from Paul

How old do you have to be to be in the Red Hat Society?

Warning by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Music: Anyone Else But You

The Moldy Peaches
Featured in Juno

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you

One for the Speichers...

One of the favorite Christmas conversation topics is, well, past Christmases.-wow Is it just me or does that word look crazy?- Anyway, some old favorites at the Speicher house are: the annual Christmas Eve pineapple pizza dinners, Ben's "special" Merry Christmas wishing to Rachel, the euchre game from hell (in short, it dealt with an indie Japanese film, sibling rivalry, and Dave Gabhart), and of course there's the year Santa forgot to fill the stockings (I'm still a bit bitter about that one.) Each Christmas provides a new slew of events that will become the topics of discussion for the years to come. This year was no exception. Granted most people that read this will have no clue what I am talking about, but that's fine; you probably wouldn't get it anyway.


The Highlights of Christmas '07

1) The Webcam/Webkin Mixup
2) Can you say "socks?"
3) Grandpa's belt Bahaha
4) Rachel's fabulous outerwear modeling
5) ... Feel free to add on some of your own!

1 Corinthians 1:25-28

"The foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called, but God hath chosen the many foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound things which are mighty. And base things of the world, and things which are dispised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are."

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influencial; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the dispised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are."

"The foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God's weakness is greater than the greatest of human strength. Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose thing dispised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring nothing what the world considers is important."

And I was the class president...

So, a funny thing happened yesterday. I finished counseling at Camp Maka Maka on Tuesday and got home by 6. Just enough time to run around packing and getting ready for my 12 day missions trip to the greater Juarez, Mexico area. The group was suposed to meet at the church at 1:30 am. I finished packing at about 11 o'clock and sat around talking to my family--who all stayed up to see me off--until it was finally time to go. Hugs, "good luck's", and "we'll be praying for you's" were exchange as I packed up the car, and my brother and his wife drove me half an hour to the church. When we got to the end of our driveway we realized we didn't bring a cell phone, but decided we'd just drive really safely. We finally got to the church, and the parking lot look pretty empty, but that is to be expected at 1:30 in the morning.

"Hmm, where is the bus?"
"Maybe on the other side of the church."

The church is pretty big.

After driving around the church twice, we figured something was wrong. Maybe the bus already left and they couldn't get ahold of me because I didn't have a phone. Maybe I was early. But, surely someone would be there...

Welp, it turns out I was early. One day early! Some how I had gotten my days messed up and was one day ahead of myself. We went leaving for another day! I laughed and cried all the way home out of pure embarrassment.

Needless to say mom was pretty surprised in the morning to find me still at home. The only word I could get out when I saw her was a meek "Suprise."

She said this time I'm driving myself.

Grandparents

I love grandparents.

When they look at your old photo albums, they coo and awe at every 3X5--even the ones from your most awkward of stages. The same goes for you and their crazy outfits; no matter how mismatched and outdated they dress, they are still the coolest grandparents in the world. Seriously, though, who else will come to every fifth grade girl's basketball game and every play after crappy school play? That's right, no one.Last week was my birthday, and I recieved the usual floral print, bible verse card from my grandparents in the mail a couple days late, as expected. That's okay though because the present, I knew, would be coming later in the week when we celebrated Mother's Day together. So, when I saw Grandpa Wayne--wearing a stylish stripped polo and bright blue fishing hat--walking toward me with a twinkle in his eye, I knew it was present-time.

Now, I have to tell you, my standards for grandparent gifts aren't too high. In the past they've been known to give anything from dead scorpion keychains to ruffly polar bear pjs, so when I saw a bit of green sticking out of grandpa's fist, I was notably pleased.

It turns out it was only a fiver. But, what was I expecting? I mean, I ONLY turned 18. I'm only legally an adult now. I only now have the right to strike it rich by means of the Hoosier Lotto while I smoke a vintage Cuban--cigar, obviously.

And then I remembered of all the memories: the games and plays and birthdays they've been too--not to mention the stifled laughs at every embarrassing school picture, I'm sure. Isn't that's worth more than five dollars. It is actually I who should be paying THEM five dollars--or more. Having to sit though an entire fifth grade girl's basketball game is worth ten dollars at least!

It all sounds pretty silly when you think of it, though. What kind of grandparent would take money from their grandchild even if they deserved it? They wouldn't. That's the point of being a grandparent.

It's actually kind of like God if you think about it. He gives us so much--some of it material, but most of it being purely out of the unconditional love of His true and flawless heart. He doesn't want anything back; what he wants us to do is pay it forward--pass it on.

I think I'll keep my fiver; maybe instead of giving it back to grandpa and grandma, I'll invest it in someone else--I'll just make sure that someone has their own slew of embarrassingly awkward pictures.