Simple Math

Some numbers so far of this summer [equaling 100, of course]:

79.........cents found in random public places

"wow," you may be thinking. "This girl has no life. All she must do is scan the sidewalks and under bubble gift machines for loose change. Simply pathetic. Why would I ever read this?" WELL, to be fair, 56 cents of that was found sitting on a toilet paper dispenser in North Carolina. Come on. Give me some cred.

6...........songs recorded on Garage Band

This has become a bit of an obsession for me since my journalism teacher taught me how to use GB for a radio project. The public, however, is not yet prepared to hear such songs.

4...........rivers paddled

[one was actually a creek 1 mile short of being a river.] I was able to spend a week learning to ww raft and canoe in Kentucky, North Carolina and Tennessee with some peeps from Outdoor Adventures [my place of employment] for the first week of summer. ( http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1159860062#/album.php?aid=26316&id=1159860029 )

2..........books started

The Apothecary's Daughter [birthday gift from Meryn] and Three Cups of Tea [a traveling book that traces back to the reaches of Stephen Keefauver]

1...........visit to Bloomington Bike Project

A simply lovely day spent with two kindered spirits, Emily and Travis. We also ran into Aaron and Alena!

8+........times I have been spit up on by Emma ( http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1159860062#/album.php?aid=18063&id=1159860029 )

Emma is my peanut of a niece I get to nanny ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVnciua-MRk ) this summer.

There you have it.

"It occurred to me then, that perhaps the reason for my growth was that I was intended for larger things. After all, a giant man can't have an ordinary-sized life."
-Big Fish

Quotes: On my Desktop

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Reinhold Niebuhr

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
Charles M. Schulz

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Epicurus

“Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.”
Garrison Keillor

“We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be”
C.S. Lewis

"Go make your next choice be your best choice."
Jason Mraz

"Move your feet when you pray, child.
Are you ready to change the way that you've been living your life up til now?"
Jason Mraz

"When love is divided you start to lose sight.
Sometimes what's comfortable just isn't right.
You can try to fight it and get left behind.
Change is a leap of faith we all must try."
Lyle King

Excerpt: Some days I feel a lot like Anne Shirley.

"I'm pretty hungry this morning," she announced, as she slipped into the chair Marilla placed for her. "The world doesn't seem such a howling wilderness as it did last night. I'm so glad it's a sunshiny morning. But I like rainy mornings real well, too. All sorts of mornings are interesting, don't you think? You don't know what's going to happen through the day, and there's so much scope for imagination. But I'm glad it's not rainy today because it's easier to be cheerful and bear up under affliction on a sunshiny day. I fee that I have a good deal to bear up under. It's all very well to read about sorrows and imagine yourself reading through them heroically, but it's not so nice when you really come to have them, is it?"

Music: Sick Muse by Metric

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeOHEVWz8lc

Watch out Cupid
Stuck me with a sickness
Pull your little arrows out
Let me live my life

You better watch out Cupid
Stuck me with a sickness
Pull your little arrows out
Let me live my life
The one I'd better lead
All the blondes are fantasies

And we looked at them eleven ways
You said, "Look at me". And looked away
And you wrote the song I wanna play
I'll write you harmony in C

Everybody just wanna fall in love
Everybody just wanna play the lead

Watch out Cupid
Stuck me with a sickness
Pull your little arrows out
And let me live my life

She said, "I'm with stupid"
Money is a sick muse
Pull your little arrows out
Let me live my life
The one I'd better lead
All the blondes are fantasies

And we looked at them eleven ways
You said, "Look at me". And looked away
And you wrote the song I wanna play
I'll write you in harmony C

Everybody just wanna fall in love
Everybody just wanna play the lead

Music: Valentine's Day Mix Tape

1. "The Way You Look Tonight" -Frank Sinatra
2. "The Luckiest" -Ben Folds
3. "Beyond the Sea" -Robbie Williams
4. "Dream Catch Me (acoustic)" -Newton Faulkner
5. "A Case of You" -Joni Mitchell
6. "Here Come Those Eyes" -Chris Rice
7. "I'd Rather be with You" -Joshua Radin
8. "You Belong to Me" -Jason Wade
9. "Lucky" -Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat
10. "My Funny Valentine" -Linda Ronstadt
11. "The Way I Am" -Igrid Michaelson
12. "Roll to Me" -Del Ametri
13. "Comfortable" -John Mayer
14. "Nothing Fancy" -Dave Barnes
15. "Cheek to Cheek" -Jane Monheit
16. "So Close" -Jon McLaughlin
17. "All I Ever Wanted" -Chuck Wicks
18. "Dear Bobbie" -Yellowcard
19. "That Dress Looks Nice on You" -Sufjan Stevens

26 Things

1---I have 26 "Sticky Notes" on my computer desktop.

2---I am currently listening to the song "Boardwalk Angel" by Pono

3---Ultimate comfort food: grilled cheese and tomato soup.

4---I almost became vegetarian after seeing a pig sticking just its nose out the side of a truck on its way to slaughter. Still can't get the image out of my head.

5---I have learned more from my 10 year old cousin than from a lot of my professors.

6---I am, in the words of my boss, a "go-getter".

7---I am the biggest shoe snob with the cheapest shoes.

8---Things that don't matter to me, REALLY don't matter to me.

9---I'd rather watch a sunset than photograph it.

10--I'm not a big fan of concerts, but I love live music, especially jazz.

11--I was the president and founder of my high school's Lumberjack Club.

12--Harrison Ford and I have matching scars.

13--My teeth are prone to cavities.

14--I am a barefoot kind of girl.

15--I like to motivate and encourage others.

16--I am now listening to the song "Suits are Picking up the Bill" by the Squirrel Nut Zippers.

17--I sometimes feel like I should have lived in the Roaring 20's or the 1960's America.

18--I like to think about myself having an accent to other people.

19--I was a member of the world's largest kazoo band.

20--I used to think that riding a camel was worthy of being on my "List of Things to Do in my Life" until I saw a man giving camel rides in the parking lot of JC Penny. It was just kinda sad, I guess.

21--I still have a crush on the first grade version of Eric Scott.

22--I realized a while ago that my friends growing up used to make fun of me, and that really affected me. I don't have those kind of friends any more.

23--I am going to be an aunt in a couple days.

24--I am now watching one of my favorite movies, "A River Runs Through It" directed by Robert Redford.

25--I like where I see my self headed.

26--I don't know where I am headed.

Excerpt: The Room, My Dream

By Joshua Harris. Orginally published in New Attitude Magazine. Copyright New Attitude, 1995. You have permission to reprint this in any form. We only ask that you include the appropriate copyright byline and do not alter the content.

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in The

libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.